- I'd recommend shortening the intro after the IP introduction - get right to the point rather than over identifying the issues (come across more as a player complaint rather than a new item/system being added to the game. Remove the YES page and right after the IP start with: "The hunters guild has developed a new gadget for you!" and frame it that way. The other information is good beneath it but focus more on the high level of the concept and less granular for the elevator background pitch. The rest of your brief will go into details about these things.
- For the materials try to focus on ones that you think you'll specifically make use of for the prop - remove the bottom callout that you may not use some - its not important - I'd have a separate page to describe the 'state changes' of the device potentially as an additive to the vfx: inactive, activated, its doing what its supposed to do (attracting bugs) Timeline seems good. Carry on!
Hi Bettina,
ReplyDeleteHere's my intial thoughts for your pitch so far:
- I'd recommend shortening the intro after the IP introduction - get right to the point rather than over identifying the issues (come across more as a player complaint rather than a new item/system being added to the game. Remove the YES page and right after the IP start with: "The hunters guild has developed a new gadget for you!" and frame it that way. The other information is good beneath it but focus more on the high level of the concept and less granular for the elevator background pitch. The rest of your brief will go into details about these things.
- For the materials try to focus on ones that you think you'll specifically make use of for the prop - remove the bottom callout that you may not use some - its not important
- I'd have a separate page to describe the 'state changes' of the device potentially as an additive to the vfx: inactive, activated, its doing what its supposed to do (attracting bugs)
Timeline seems good. Carry on!